The Papershield

June 19, 2010

The dilemma of reporting abuse

If you are accused of abuse, just pull the PAS card. CHA CHING!

If a child is afraid of a parent who has been accused of abuse, It must be PAS, Yup Yup YUP!


PAS. If you have a child together and you abuse the child, pull the PAS card and it will get you off in most cases. Nobody believes abuse reporters and if she reports it, the abuse either never happened or is also her fault, she LET you do it right?


BLAME. It really IS all her fault, right? She made you do it. She cried for no reason on those occasions that she said that you abused her. You are a great guy, never would hurt a soul much less a lady or child. She just nagged you until you couldn’t take it anymore and then you snapped.

MINIMIZE. You never “hit” her, you just pushed her away from you. You accidentally tripped her and tried to help her up after wards when she fell again. Or maybe you were just joking when you punched her, you thought she could take a joke.

DENY. It just never happened, she is making it all up just to get back at you for leaving her or cheating on her or because she wants the kids all to herself.

EXCUSE. It never would have happened if she hadn’t been so crazy, if she hadn’t been a slut, if she hadn’t started it. And anyway, maybe you have an addiction or a mental illness?

DIG UP ALL THE DIRT FROM HER PAST, even if it has nothing to do with you. If she has ever been assaulted by someone else, all the better for you. It must be her fault, even if it happened when she was a child.

Get your family to lie too, abusers like to cover for one another. It’s like a clan.

Get a dirty, aggressive lawyer that will find every loophole and method of intimidation. They know how to twist the truth and get away with it, they can manipulate the system because they know the right words to throw around. Even if the terms don’t apply to your case, if the lawyer says it enough then it can affect the ruling. All the lawyer had to do is put the right spin and change terminology to sound like it might apply. You can often get a victim to drop the case entirely or back off if you intimidate, embarrass, harass, or indirectly threaten her enough. Tell every witness that she presents “you do know that she is crazy, right?” You can get away with indirect threats easily but let a lawyer do it for maximum benefit. If you are the one to make the threats and they are vague enough, even if SHE knows what you mean, she will look crazy if she reports you. You can get away with a LOT and you can accuse her of harassing you every time she reports you. She ends up looking like a lunatic and you walk away smelling of roses if you smile when the police question you, if they even bother to do that.

Use angry letters and emails from her as evidence that she is mentally unstable. The assault/abuse never happened so if she complains about what she says you’ve done to her in writing, she must be crazy. If she was angry enough to call you names for abusing her, she must be an abuser too.

If she becomes pregnant, you have her. All you really have to do is get your unprotected dick into her at the right time of the month and BAM! You’ve used her own body and fertility against her. That is your greatest weapon and way towards controlling her. Rape her, manipulate her, trick her, whatever you need to do. You have legal access to her for the next 18 years, even if convicted of rape in most cases. And we all know that most victims don’t report rape or report it too late to prosecute. Rape cases are very hard to win, almost impossible if you were in a relationship when it happened, so it’s likely that she won’t even get a conviction even if she does report it immediately. She’ll have no one to protect her and the law will tell her that she is not allowed to hide or protect herself. You will legally have her address and even be able to tell her where she may live, whom she may live with, and she will likely be forced to have face to face interactions with you where you can intimidate her some more.

You can also use threats against the kids to control her, women hate that. If you abuse the children then all you have to say is “the courts will give me 50/50 parenting” and it will send chills down her spine. She can’t protect them if she’s not there. And children are more easily intimidated than an adult, if she reports the abuse then all you have to do is threaten them and they will tell the courts that daddy didn’t hurt them. She will look like a liar or crazy or both. And even if the kids do tell on you, look up PAS and use that.

The more humiliating the abuse/assault, the less likely she is to report it in time to prosecute you so make sure it counts. And if she fights back then use that against her too. Just accuse her of over-reacting and being the one who assaulted you. You were the innocent one here, you were just trying to protect her from herself or help her in some way and she attacked you for no reason. And no one will believe her anyway so, in most cases, all you have to do is lie. The law presumes your innocence and they cannot force you to take a lie detector test so lying is VERY effective. Even if they catch you lying, she will still have to prove the assault happened the way she said it did and that is almost impossible without video footage. But if she does have video footage, don’t sweat it too bad, the right lawyer can usually suppress that evidence.

The District Attorneys hate to try cases that they are not pretty certain about winning. They rarely get involved in domestic violence cases. All you have to do is fool her into thinking that you are a nice guy for long enough to call it a “relationship” and then you can go nuts on her.

Make SURE to cheat on her. Leave little clues. If she ignores the little clues or is too stressed about the abuse to notice or care, let the girlfriend leave real evidence. Make sure she knows and, preferably, wait for her to confirm that she knows. This way, you can always accuse her of being bitter and jealous about the girlfriend. Even an abused woman is likely to get angry about infidelity. She has suffered so she either won’t want you to hurt anyone else or she will be mad that you feel entitled to intimate relationships on the side.

If there are children involved, make sure that everyone knows that she is trying to take your children away from you, even if you’ve shown little to no interest in them in the past. Let her know that if she tries to leave, YOU get access (alone) with the children. That will show her! Most women are too afraid to risk their children being alone with an abuser and the courts want to give you your rightful time alone with the kids.

If she leaves, stalk her. The stalking may cause her to move or flea for her safety, you can use that in court against her too. When accused of stalking, claim that you just want to know where your kids are, this will garner you pity and her cold stares.

Tell her that if she reports the abuse, the kids will be taken away from BOTH of you. Make sure that she knows that her children will be taken and put into foster care and she’ll be lucky to ever get them back. If she didn’t report the abuse right away because you intimidated her enough or lied to her and denied it ever happened or convinced her that she was making too much of it or begged for forgiveness and swore you’d never do it again, make sure to tell her that she is just as responsible as you are, or MORESO because she is the MOTHER. She is responsible for protecting her children. DCF HATES non protective mothers and even if she is not there when the abuse happens, she knows about it, right?

If she protects her children, she is the abuser because keeping a father from his kids is clearly abuse.

If she loses jobs or quits school because of the abuse, use that against her. If she seeks counseling due to the abuse, that is proof that she is unstable. If she is diagnosed PTSD and/or depressed due to the abuse then she is frickin’ insane, she has a diagnosed mental illness so the abuse is either not real or she caused it. If she tries to kill herself to escape the abuse then YEEHAW! You’ve really got her now! The courts will LOVE to hear how unstable, even suicidal, she is. They’ll never believe her now!

Tell her that you will kill yourself if she leaves. Let her know that she won’t be getting any child support from a dead man and she will be responsible for your death and taking away the father of her children. Tell her that your family will all hate her. For good measure, hint that you can take her and the kids with you. If you self harm while making these threats, it will be more effective and convincing. If you restrain her and force her to watch you self harm with weapons, scream into her face, shove her and hurt her just enough that her primary concern is fear of you and not the pain you are causing, really frighten her then she will be terrified out of her wits. If she reports you, you can claim that all you did was self harm, you didn’t do anything to HER. She will feel even more defeated when law enforcement won’t help her. She will know that you are capable of anything and there is nothing that SHE can do about it. She may be so terrified that she tries everything to make you happy so you won’t do it again. Do it again anytime you think she might leave you or whenever she doesn’t do what you want her to do.

Let her know that if she leaves you, she will become homeless. If she takes the children with her, use that against her in court. Be hyper critical of any location that she finds to live. A low income woman with children will be very limited in her choices. You can say that she lives in a dangerous neighborhood or trash the people that she lives with if she is forced to share a residence. Make her move and then tell the courts that she does not have a stable home life, she keeps moving. Even a woman with a full time job may not be able to pay for child care and all of the bills alone. The courts will probably take the kids from her and give them to you. If she tells you that you’ll have to pay child support, let her know that she’ll have to fight you for it. It can take the court months or over a year to take action in a child support case, meanwhile SHE has to provide for herself and the children without your help.

These TIPS are provided not as a guide but as a WARNING to parents attempting to protect their children or themselves. Some of these same tips may be used against men. Until we change our legal system to STOP THE USE of these abusive and manipulative tactics in court, we cannot protect the children or ourselves. We are afraid of reporting abuse, either towards us or our children, because of the situations described above. The courts ALLOW the use of these tactics and it protects abusers. Abusers are given a great deal of control in the legal system, especially when children are involved. This ensures that the cycle of violence will be passed on to as many children as possible because it is hard to STOP the cycle of violence while still dealing with abuse and violence.

Believe it or not, most of the tactics listed above were used against ME in court recently. I have learned the hard way the corruption of the legal system. I have met other women in my situation and this has happened to them too. It DOES happen and it CAN happen to you or someone you know.


1 Comment »

  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by cancermoonwolf, Mary Morgan. Mary Morgan said: The dilemma of reporting abuse: […]

    Pingback by Tweets that mention The dilemma of reporting abuse « The Papershield -- — June 19, 2010 @ 2:03 pm | Reply

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