The Papershield

May 21, 2010

Escaping an abusive relationship.

Filed under: Child Abuse,Domestic Abuse,Self Help,Survival — papershield @ 7:06 pm

Flying birds

You are better off living in a car than living in fear. BUT – if you have children together then he can and will use that in a court of law to stalk, harass, and threaten. He will use the children against you in every possible way. I don’t say this to frighten those who are dealing with an abuser but to inform. Unless we address each issue that makes escape even harder for victims, beyond fear of the abuser, then we cannot make a real change and help put a stop to long term abuses.

I do want to note that I will often say “he” when referring to an abuser and “she” when referring to the abused. It is natural for me to use gender terms in that order because that has been my personal experience with abuse. I do not do this to discount that men are sometimes abused too. Male on female abuse tends to be more brutal but I have heard of violent women as well. I acknowledge that there are different challenges for men in escaping abusive relationships, especially when children are involved. I do intend to address those issues in the future. My intent is not to divide women and men but to draw attention to what is needed to prevent further abuse by the same perpetrator and to protect children so we end the cycle of violence (to the greatest extent possible.)

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